6 Mistakes Women in Ministry Leadership Make That Lead to Being Overburdened with “Invisible Work”

Have you ever gone home after a long day of ministry and wondered, Why am I so exhausted? You scroll through your calendar and realize you didn’t actually preach, lead the big meeting, or make any “headline” decisions. Instead, you spent hours coordinating details, smoothing over tensions, and doing all the little things that no one else thought about. That, my friend, is the weight of invisible work.

Invisible work is the relational glue, the behind-the-scenes planning, the emotional and administrative labor that keeps ministry moving forward but rarely gets noticed, celebrated, or written into your job description.

And here’s the tricky part: while much of this work is valuable, women in leadership often carry more than their share. Not because they want to, but because subtle patterns and pressures creep in over time.

Let’s talk about six common mistakes that unintentionally pile invisible work onto women’s shoulders and how you can begin shifting the pattern.

1. Saying “Yes” Too Often

As women leaders with a heart to serve, our first instinct is often to say yes. We want to help. We don’t want to disappoint. But here’s the danger: too many yeses can quickly create a reputation as “the dependable one who gets it done.” Before long, opportunities for true leadership are bypassed, and the busywork lands squarely on your desk.

Try this instead: Before you answer, pause. Ask yourself: Is this mine to carry, or could I empower someone else by saying no?

2. Not Delegating or Asking for Help

Delegation can feel risky. Maybe you don’t want to burden others. Maybe you worry it won’t be done “right.” But clinging to every task robs others of growth and keeps you stuck in the weeds.

Reframe the question: Instead of “Can I do this?” ask, “Who else could step into this and grow by doing it?”

3. Allowing Role Boundaries to Blur

Church life is messy. Job descriptions are often vague. And because we care deeply, we slide into the gaps, taking notes, organizing events, smoothing conflict. It looks like teamwork, but over time, blurred boundaries drain your energy and keep you from focusing on what matters most.

Leadership practice: Revisit your role. What’s truly yours, and what’s been added informally? Clarity protects your energy.

4. Over functioning to Compensate

Let’s be honest: women’s leadership is still questioned in many churches. That doubt can tempt us to “prove” ourselves by doing more, working harder, carrying it all. The problem? Over functioning leaves us exhausted and subtly reinforces the idea that women exist to serve, not to lead.

Truth to remember: Your worth is not measured by how much you carry but by who God has called you to be.

5. Avoiding Hard Conversations

It’s easier to just take the notes than to say, “Let’s rotate this responsibility.” It’s easier to organize the event than to point out inequities. But silence often signals acceptance, and invisible work keeps multiplying.

Next step: Have the courageous conversation. Boundary-setting isn’t selfish; it’s leadership.

6. Not Naming the Invisible Work

Here’s the paradox: when you don’t name the hours you spend mentoring, planning, or tending to team dynamics, others assume it costs you little. But what’s unnamed stays invisible, and invisible work grows like weeds.

Simple shift: Begin naming it. Try saying, “I’ve spent several hours this week caring for volunteers.” Naming doesn’t complain; it educates.

Why This Matters

Invisible work isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it often reflects your deep care for people and the mission. But when it consumes all your time and energy, it keeps you from leading at the level you’re called to.

Sister, hear me: you are not failing. You are navigating expectations women have carried for generations. And you have the power, with God’s help, to shift these patterns.

If you’re feeling the weight of invisible work and longing to step more fully into your leadership calling, I can help. I empower women in ministry and faith-based non-profits close the gap between their calling and the barriers that keep them stuck. I can help you gain clarity, confidence, and courage so you can lead without burning out on work that isn’t yours to carry.